How To Really Live - 40 Simple Steps To Try Today

So much in life keeps us away from really living. Stop surviving and try actually living. Here are some simple steps to try today, just one a day will make a huge difference.

0. Develop a sense of urgency about living. Carpe Diem. Seize the day. You only get each day once. Decide to live. This list can help.

1. Love. Perhaps the most important. Fall in love, if you aren't already. If you have, fall in love with your partner all over again. Abandon caution and let your heart be broken. Or love family members, friends, anyone -- it doesn't have to be romantic love. Love all of humanity, one person at a time.

2. Get outside. Don't let yourself be shut indoors. Go out when it's raining. Walk on the beach. Hike through the woods. Swim in a freezing lake. Bask in the sun. Play sports, or walk barefoot through grass. Pay close attention to nature.

3. Savor food. Don't just eat your food, but really enjoy it. Feel the texture, the bursts of flavors. Savor every bite. If you limit your intake of sweets, it will make the small treats you give yourself (berries or dark chocolate are my favorites) even more enjoyable. And when you do have them, really, really savor them. Slowly.

4. Create a morning ritual. Wake early and greet the day. Watch the sun rise. Out loud, tell yourself that you will not waste this day, which is a gift. You will be compassionate to your fellow human beings, and live every moment to its fullest. Stretch or meditate or exercise as part of your ritual. Enjoy some coffee.

5. Take chances. We often live our lives too cautiously, worried about what might go wrong. Be bold, risk it all. Quit your job and go to business for yourself (plan it out first!), or go up to that girl you've liked for a long time and ask her out. What do you have to lose?

6. Follow excitement. Try to find the things in life that excite you, and then go after them. Make life one exciting adventure after another (with perhaps some quiet times in between).

7. Find your passion. Similar to the above tip, this one asks you to find your calling. Make your living by doing the thing you love to do. First, think about what you really love to do. There may be many things. Find out how you can make a living doing it. It may be difficult, but you only live once.

8. Get out of your cubicle. Do you sit all day in front of computer, shuffling papers and taking phone calls and chatting on the Internet? Don't waste your days like this. Break free from the cubicle environment, and do your work on a laptop, in a coffee shop, or on a boat, or in a log cabin. This may require a change of jobs, or becoming a freelancer. It's worth it.

9. Turn off the TV. How many hours will we waste away in front of the boob tube? How many hours do we have to live? Do the math, then unplug the TV. Only plug it back in when you have a DVD of a movie you love. Otherwise, keep it off and find other stuff to do. Don't know what to do? Read further.

10. Pull away from Internet. Twitter, Facebook and the next big thing might be interesting but stop. You're reading something on the Internet right now. And, with the exception of this article, it is just more wasting away of your precious time. You cannot get these minutes back. Unplug the Internet, then get out of your office or house. Right now! And go and do something.

11. Travel. Sure, you want to travel some day. When you have vacation time, or when you're older. Well, what are you waiting for? Find a way to take a trip, if not this month, then sometime soon. You may need to sell your car or stop your cable bill and stop eating out to do it, but make it happen. You are too young to not see the world. If need be, find a way to make a living by freelancing, then work while you travel. Only work an hour or two a day. Don't check email but once a week. Then use the rest of the time to see the world.

12. Rediscover what's important. Take an hour and make a list of everything that's important to you. Add to it everything that you want to do in life. Now cut that list down to 4-5 things. Just the most important things in your life. This is your core list. This is what matters. Focus your life on these things. Make time for them.

13. Minimalise. Is that a word? Minimize. Simplify. Eliminate everything else. What's going on in your life that's not on that short list? All that stuff is wasting your time, pulling your attention from what's important. As much as possible, simplify your life by eliminating the stuff that's not on your short list, or minimizing it.

14. Exercise. Get off the couch and go for a walk. Eventually try running. Or do some push ups and crunches. Or swim or bike or row. Or go for a hike. Whatever you do, get active, and you'll love it. And life will be more alive.

15. Be positive. Learn to recognize the negative thoughts you have. These are the self-doubts, the criticisms of others, the complaints, the reasons you can't do something. Then stop yourself when you have these thoughts, and replace them with positive thoughts. Solutions. You can do this!

16. Open your heart. Is your heart a closed bundle of scar tissue? Learn to open it, have it ready to receive love, to give love unconditionally. If you have a problem with this, talk to someone about it. And practice makes perfect.

17. Kiss in the rain. Seize the moment and be romantic. Raining outside? Grab your lover and give her a passionate kiss. Driving home? Stop the car and pick some wildflowers. Send her a love note. Dress sexy for him.

18. Face your fears. What are you most afraid of? What is holding you back? Whatever it is, recognize it, and face it. Do what you are most afraid of. Afraid of heights? Go to the tallest building, and look down over the edge. Only by facing our fears can we be free of them.

19. When you suffer, suffer. Life isn't all about fun and games. Suffering is an inevitable part of life. We lose our jobs. We lose our lovers. We lose our pets. We get physically injured or sick. A loved one becomes sick. A parent dies. Learn to feel the pain intensely, and really grieve. This is a part of life -- really feel the pain. And when you're done, move on, and find joy.

20. Slow down. Life moves along at such a rapid pace these days. It's not healthy, and it's not conducive to living. Practice doing everything slowly -- everything, from eating to walking to driving to working to reading. Enjoy what you do. Learn to move at a snail's pace.

21. Touch humanity. Get out of your house and manicured neighborhoods, and find those who live in worse conditions. Meet them, talk to them, understand them. Live among them. Be one of them. Give up your materialistic lifestyle.

22. Volunteer. Help at homeless soup kitchens. Learn compassion, and learn to help ease the suffering of others. Help the sick, those with disabilities, those who are dying. Teach kids to swim, run, read, write, play chess, play ball. Learn and teach life saving techniques - they are useful in your local mall just as much as at the beach.

23. Play with children. Children, more than anyone else, know how to live. They experience everything in the moment, fully. When they get hurt, they really cry. When they play, they really have fun. Learn from them, instead of thinking you know so much more than them. Play with them, and learn to be joyful like them.

24. Talk to old people. There is no one wiser, more experienced, more learned, than those who have lived through life. They can tell you amazing stories. Give you advice on making a marriage last or staying out of debt. Tell you about their regrets, so you can learn from them and avoid the same mistakes. They are the wisdom of our society -- take advantage of their existence while they're still around.

25. Learn new skills. Constantly improve yourself instead of standing still -- not because you're so imperfect now, but because it is gratifying and satisfying. You should accept yourself as you are, and learn to love who you are, but still try to improve -- if only because the process of improvement is life itself.

26. Find spirituality. For some, this means finding God or Jesus or Allah or Buddha. For others, this means becoming in tune with the spirits of our ancestors, or with nature. For still others, this just means an inner energy. Whatever spirituality means for you, rediscover it, and its power.

27. Take mini-retirements. Don't leave the joy of retirement until you are too old to enjoy it. Do it now, while you're young. It makes working that much more worth it. Find ways to take a year off every few years. Save up, sell your home, your possessions, and travel. Live simply, but live, without having to work. Enjoy life, then go back to work and save up enough money to do it again in a couple of years.

28. Do nothing. Despite the tip above that we should find excitement, there is value in doing nothing as well. Not doing nothing as in reading, or taking a nap, or watching TV, or meditating. Doing nothing as in sitting there, block out the outside world, doing nothing. Just learning to be still, in silence, to hear our inner voice, to be in tune with life. Do this daily if possible.

29. Stop playing video games. They might be fun, but they can take up way too much time. If you spend a lot of time playing online games, or computer solitaire, or Wii or Gameboy or whatever, consider going a week without it. Then find something else to do, outside.

30. Watch sunsets, daily. One of the most beautiful times of day. Make it a daily ritual to find a good spot to watch the sunset, perhaps having a light dinner while you do so.

31. Stop reading magazines. They're basically crap. And they waste your time and money. Cancel your subscriptions and walk past them at the news stands. If you have to read something, read a trashy novel or even better, read Dumb Little Man once a day and be done.

32. Break out from ruts. Do you do things the same way every day? Change it up. Try something new. Take a different route to work. Start your day out differently. Approach work from a new angle. Look at things from new perspectives.

33. Stop watching the news. It's depressing and useless. If you're a news junky, this may be difficult. I haven't watch TV news or read a newspaper regularly in about two years. It hasn't hurt me a bit. Anything important, my mom tells me about.

34. Laugh till you cry. Laughing is one of the best ways to live. Tell jokes and laugh your head off. Watch an awesome comedy. Learn to laugh at anything. Roll on the ground laughing. You'll love it.

35. Lose control. Not only control over yourself, but control over others. It's a bad habit to try to control others -- it will only lead to stress and unhappiness for yourself and those you try to control. Let others live, and live for yourself. And lose control of yourself now and then too.

36. Cry. Men, especially, tend to hold in our tears, but crying is an amazing release. Cry at sad movies. Cry at a funeral. Cry when you are hurt, or when somebody you love is hurt. It releases these emotions and allows us to cleanse ourselves.

37. Make an awesome dessert. I like to make warm, soft chocolate cake. But even berries dipped in chocolate, or crepes with ice cream and fruit, or fresh apple pie, or homemade chocolate chip cookies or brownies, are great. This isn't an every day thing, but an occasional treat thing. But it's wonderful.

38. Try something new, every week. Ask yourself: "What new thing shall I try this week?" Then be sure to do it. You don't have to learn a new language in one week, but seek new experiences. Give it a try. You might decide you want to keep it in your life.

39. Be in the moment. Instead of thinking about things you need to do, or things that have happened to you, or worrying or planning or regretting, think about what you are doing, right now. What is around you? What smells and sounds and sights and feelings are you experiencing? Learn to do this as much as possible through meditation, but also through bringing your focus back to the present as much as you can in everything you do.

40. Listen. Really listen. To the birds, the wind in the trees, to people you love, to your friends, spouse, children. Focus on others and on the simple wonders of our world and how people journey through it.

41. Do a random act of kindness. Don't expect any thing back other than your own feeling of having helped someone.

42. Re-read And Repeat This List. Improve it, share it and find little ways to do it better next time.

Ok so that was 43 steps, I'd like to make it 46 which is my lucky number and also the number of DNA strands each of our personal genomes so add suggestions here as comments.

Most of this post is an extract from Tips for Life, add it to your reader, it is a quality find.

Is Apple Winning The War For Developer Hearts & Minds?

Microsoft has lost the faithful and Apple is welcoming them with open arms, other vendors too. Google is too slow to accumulate new users and will end up doing plumbing like Amazon if they are not careful. Maybe Google Wave will buy them a reprieve but they could end up like TomTom the venerable GPS provider just now an accessory maker for the iPhone.

There are also two mainstream battlefields - mobile and desktop - or should I say mobile and semi-mobile because laptops are the new desktop. This is evidenced by the risk of the netbook, the collapse of advanced laptop prices (particularly from Apple) and laptop/netbook/smartphone sales dramatically exceeding desktops.

The recent World Wide Developer Conference for Apple was a key turning point in this war, it was the biggest event of it's kid ever for Apple. In the same week Steve Jobs announced his liver transplant (and return to work planned in weeks) his replacement team stepped up tos how they are more than able to handle the job. At the same time youtube is over run with videos slamming Steve Balmer as nothing less than a maniac - at least on the topic of developers, developers, developers (google it) - because we all know how important they are.

Over 1,000,000 downloads of the developer software development kit for iphone, over 50,000 apps on the Apple appstore, 900 improvements to existing core applications, the list goes on.

The reality is Microsoft are still winning with .net (particularly version 3 and 3.5) particularly on the server - continuing to gain acceptance (despite having heels nipped by Ruby on Rails and a resurgence in the Lisp family like Scala and Erlang for being used to build high end sites like Twitter.

But apple has the momentum where it counts - owning the user experience.

And the ecosystem of real word devices the connect now are changing the game - monitoring heart rates, advising diabetes on exact insulin amounts, amazing connected gaming, school science with real time sensors - all unheard of in the mass market even a year ago, let alone with this incredibly high level of end user experience.

MS is being smart and quietly building compatibility underpinning for some of the above languages into the CLR (Common Language Runtime) so it can run (like Java on JVM - Virtual Machines - over all OSes) over the top of .net and hence Windows.

Nokia too has done well with the new ovi (their word for app) store - but Nokia can't hold a candle on the server.

Apple and Microsoft (and ORacle/Sun) is the game, but while Apple do have desktop/laptop developer appeal that is growing (up 300% in two years to circa 75m active users) they still struggle on the server outside niche markets.

So they have a new version of the core OS - called OSX Snow Leopard and priced at $49 for three pack it is ridiculously cheap. It also has lots of MS interoperability built in FREE now like exchange and MS Office compatibility in the new iWork'09 suite.

So what about Apple on the server? Well maybe they don't want it, or maybe they do but are taking their time about it. 64-bit OS is gradually coming, 50% improvement in space efficiency, 80% efficiency in some internet aspects and expansion of addressable memory fto 16 Billion Gb. Now you are talking.

Oracle/Sun has a huge footprint and corporate trust but smaller developers will be hurt during the coming consolidation and smart guys are holding back committing to new investment until the product rationalisation strategy is clear.

But MS continues to hold the server fort for now with .net, Sun's Java is supposedly immune from the $8.4B takeover by Oracle but every developer has had a seed of doubt sown in their mind about the future of the platform so the lazy will stay, the scared if faced with a decision will probably look at .net and the long sighted, brave and possibly ultra-naive commercially at least will look at new languages.

I think it is great. Change challenges us and encourages the great debate. Microsoft has never had more challenges and this attack on their core OS and mobile by Apple will win some. Oracle and Sun have a great opportunity and in the mean time lots of smart small platform plays are springing up on the web and the few open mobile platforms.

Mobile Madness Continues

The adoption of mobile internet continues to steam ahead int he early adopter countries, as a result it is the place to be investing.

The only thing is which platforms will win? Nokia launched their appstore equivalent the ovi store, android (open handset alliance) is starting to ship more handsets and apple has released the 3G-S which has some neat new features but more importantly is white hot on app store activity.

We also have a string of new j2me mobile platforms coming out that will breath new life into the older handsets and lots of other activity that has promise like blackberry apps (still too slow) and sun launching a java app marketplace.

All the while, the record debt accumulated by Telco's is costing them less than ever thanks to record low interest rates. And short term at least the new unemployed with payouts can afford the time and a small splash out on a new handset. Longer term this will be an issue but with just about everyone (with any sense) reducing handset and plan costs maybe the future is pretty bright.

The real fun mid term will be software based innovation in social apps and interaction with business apps.

Parenting Tips

Parenting is hard. It is also fun. But sometimes it helps to hear what the 'experts' say especially when it is on target and relevant. Here is one I found recently that is good.

Ten Tips for Talking to Your Kids About Anything

Raising a child is probably the most gratifying job any of us will ever have -- and one of the toughest. In large part, that's because times have changed. We live in an increasingly complex world that challenges us everyday with a wide range of disturbing issues that are difficult for children to understand and for adults to explain. We believe this booklet can help. It offers practical, concrete tips and techniques for talking easily and openly with young children ages 8 to 12 about some very tough issues: sex, HIV/AIDS, violence, drugs and alcohol. Some parents and caregivers may
question the appropriateness of talking about such sensitive topics with young children. Maybe you're one of them. But consider this: our kids are already hearing about these issues from TV, movies, magazines and school friends. If we don't talk with them early and often -- and answer their questions -- they'll get their facts from someone else. And we'll have missed an important opportunity to offer our children information that's not only accurate, but also in sync with our own personal values and moral principles. Make sense? We think so. So let's get started.

1. Start early.
Kids are hearing about and forced to cope with tough issues at increasingly early ages, often before they are ready to understand all aspects of these complicated ideas. Additionally, medical research and public health data tells us that when young children want information, advice and guidance, they turn to their parents first. Once they reach the teenage years, they tend to depend more on friends, the media and other outsiders for their information. As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to talk with your child about these issues first, before anyone else can confuse your
child with incorrect information or explanations that lack the sense of values you want to instill. We need to take advantage of this "window of opportunity" with young children and talk with them earlier and more often.

2. Initiate conversations with your child.
While we want our children to feel comfortable enough to come to us with any questions and concerns -- and thus give us the opportunity to begin conversations -- this doesn't always occur. That's why it's perfectly okay -- at times even necessary -- to begin the discussions ourselves. TV and other media are great tools for this. Say, for instance, that you and your 12-year-old are watching TV together and the program's plot includes a teenage pregnancy. After the show is over, ask your child what she thought of the program. Did she agree with how the teenagers behaved? Just one or two questions could help start a valuable discussion that comes from everyday circumstances and events. Also, when speaking with your child, be sure to use words she can understand. Trying to explain AIDS to a 6-year-old with words like "transmission" and "transfusion" may not be as helpful as using simpler language. The best technique: use simple, short words and straightforward explanations.

3. ...Even about sex and relationships.
If you feel uncomfortable talking about such sensitive subjects -- particularly sex and relationships -- with your young child, you're not alone. Many parents feel awkward and uneasy, especially if they are anxious about the subject. But, for your kid's sake, try to overcome your nervousness and bring up the issue with your child.
4. Create an open environment. Young children want their parents to discuss
difficult subjects with them. However, our kids will look to us for answers only if they feel we will be open to their questions. It's up to us to create the kind of atmosphere in which our children can ask any questions -- on any subject -- freely and without fear of consequence. How do you create such an atmosphere? By being encouraging, supportive and positive. For example, if your child asks, "How many people have AIDS?" try not to answer with, "I don't know. Please just finish your lunch." No matter how busy you are respond with something like, "That's an interesting question, but I'm not sure. Let's go look it up." (FYI: Don't worry that if your children learn that you don't know everything, they won't look up to you. That's
simply not true. Kids accept, "I don't know," and "let's go find out," and they are better responses than any inaccurate or misleading answers you may be tempted to offer.) One more point: You don't need to answer all of your children's questions immediately. If your 10-year-old asks, "Mom, what's a condom?" while you're negotiating a tricky turn in rush-hour traffic, it's perfectly okay for you to say something like, "That's an important question. But with all this traffic,
I can't explain right now. Let's talk later, after dinner." And make sure you do.

5. Communicate your values.
As a parent, you have a wonderful opportunity to be the first person to talk with your child about tough issues like drugs and violence before anyone else can confuse him with "just-the-facts" explanations that lack the sense of values and moral principles you want to instill. Likewise, when talking with your child about sex, remember to talk about more than "the birds and the bees," and communicate your values. Remember: research shows that children want and need moral guidance from their moms and dads, so don't hesitate to make your beliefs clear.

6. Listen to your child.
How many times do we listen to our children while folding clothes, preparing for the next day's meeting, or pushing a shopping cart through the supermarket? While that's understandable, it's important to find time to give kids our undivided attention. Listening carefully to our children builds self-esteem by letting our youngsters know that they're important to us and can lead to valuable discussions about a wide variety of sensitive issues. Listening carefully also helps us better understand what our children really want to know as well as what they already understand. And it keeps us from talking above our youngsters' heads and confusing them even further. For example, suppose your child asks you what crack is. Before you answer, ask him what he thinks it is. If he says, "I think it's something you eat that makes you act funny," then you have a sense of his level of understanding and can adjust your explanations to fit.

7. Try to be honest.
Whatever your child's age, they deserve honest answers and explanations. It's what strengthens our child's ability to trust. Also, when we don't provide a traightforward answer, kids make up their own fantasy explanations, which can be more frightening than any real, honest response we can offer. While we may not want or need to share
all the details of a particular situation or issue with our child, try not to leave any big gaps either. When we do, children tend to fill in the blanks themselves, which can generate a good deal of confusion and concern.

8. Be patient.
Often it can feel like forever before a youngster gets his story out. As adults, we're tempted to finish the child's sentence for him, filling in words and phrases in an effort to hear the point sooner. Try to resist this impulse. By listening patiently, we allow our children to think at their own pace and we are letting them know that they are worthy of our time.

9. Use everyday opportunities to talk.
It's important to try to talk with your kids about tough issues often, but there isn't always time in the day to sit down for a long talk. Also, kids tend to resist formal discussions about today's toughest issues, often categorizing them as just
another lecture from mom and dad. But if we use "talk opportunities," moments that arise in everyday life, as occasions for discussion, our children will be a lot less likely to tune us out. For instance, a newspaper item about a
child expelled from school for carrying a gun to class can help you start a discussion on guns and violence.

10. Talk about it again. And again.
Since most young children can only take in small bits of information at any one time, they won't learn all they need to know about a particular topic from a single discussion. That's why it's important to let a little time pass, then ask the
child to tell you what she remembers about your conversation. This will help you correct any misconceptions and fill in missing facts. Finally, in an effort to absorb all they want to know, children often ask questions again and again over
time -- which can test any parent's nerves. But such repetition is perfectly normal, so be prepared and tolerant. Don't be afraid to initiate discussions repeatedly, either. Patience and persistence will serve you and your child well.

Source: Edited text from www.healthresources.caremark.com by the Association of Heads Of Independent Schools Of Australia. Receive parenting tips by email www.pared.edu.au

Google Wonder Wheel

The recent upgrades to google search start to really demonstrate the difference between their search capabilities and the competitors.

Google Wonder Wheel search options let you see the topics related to the one you are searching and then navigate this multi dimensional network visually. These visual representation tools have been around for ages, but this is the first time they have been combined with the vast depth of Google's capabilities in a combinatorial manner.

The wonderful thing is the ability to also search by other dimensions such as timeline and drill down and more.

The lessons for user interface designers are also important. They are reusing the existing search bar to keep context and using the left navigator for options. The world will be trained this way now so bad luck to anyone who doesn't take this approach, your uses will need to be retrained or find your app counter-intuitive.

Fortune Cookie Insight & Philosophy

I have always liked the simplicity of the fortune cookie business model and the simple hope and possibly fear uncertainty and doubt they play on.

Most of all however it is hope and the potential of what could be in simple phrases, here are ours from last night -

1. Firstly, one with nice timing, especially considering the global financial crisis is making most businesses pull their budgets and sales forecasts in tighting -

The ship is safer in the harbour but it is not meant for that.

2. This one is for those that still think the internet is changing the world (I do) -

You have at your command the wisdom of the ages.

3. Next, an old classic for all regardless of age or ability -

You will find an outlet for your creative genius and accomplish a great deal.

4. One for the boy scouts (and anyone who has to do public speaking or a speech at a wedding) -

The will to win is important but the will to prepare is vital.

5. One for the world's politicians grappling with the naive stimulus approaches currently being employed. Also applicable for people who this their bank is safe -

To every complex problem there is an easy answer, and it is usually wrong.

6. One for the project managers and office bossy-boots -

Goals are dreams with deadlines.

7. And my favourite of all time...


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AOL Buying Bebo - What A Boo Boo.

Big mistake by AOL who spent $850 buying Bebo after negotiating for a year and now the traffic on twitter just kills it. They could also have purchased Twitter for a lot less I bet.

Statistics thanks to the wonderful people at compete.com